The overwhelm is too much..basically everything is too much.
Let me ask you, when things got too heavy in the past, who was there to help you?
Did someone share your burden, sit in the trenches with you, and help you see that everything would be okay?
“Yes, this thing may feel hard, but I promise you’re not alone. I’ll be here. I believe in you. You can do it. You’re doing a great job.”
When you gave it your all, did someone cheer you on and tell you how amazing your accomplishment was?
Did someone delight in your feelings of peace, empowerment, and joy? Did someone help you fold the feelings of sadness, frustration, or being let down?
Were you able to relax as a child, knowing that your needs would be met and that the world was a magical place where dreams really can come true and miracles can always happen? Were your ideas and wishes seen as valid and worthy?
Humans aren’t meant to balance so many misaligned things and excel at them all:
Did you want to be going to school and learning facts that would not help you in later years? Were your true passions supported and given room to grow, while you stood in line and made grades on tests that would earn you an ice cream or a pizza party?
Did you learn to enjoy your free time while you were doing your chores, a healthy balance of keeping a home and also living in it? Or does mess cause you to squirm, unable to sit down until the last crumb is swept up?
Were you allowed to have boundaries with your friends, choosing which toys to share and protecting the ones that were most sacred to you? Or was sharing called caring, and people pleasing sold to you as the proper way to be liked and accepted in this world?
I wonder… what happened when you made a mistake?
There are options here…
Shame
Disappointment
Lectures
Grounded
Acceptance
Comfort
Natural consequences
Encouragement
Truly a spectrum. But the real question is…How do you treat yourself when you make a mistake now?
How many things do you have to be worried about?
What would happen if I told you to count them?
If you wrote them all down right now, and someone took a look at them and said, “Wow that’s a lot..”
would it help you feel better? What about, “You deserve time to explore the things you really enjoy.”
Raise your hand if you’d laugh at that, like it was some sarcastic joke.
Now take that hand and place it over your heart.
Feel it beating.
Is it fast?
Is it slow?
I want you to take a deep breath, deeper and deeper. Into your belly.
Feel the air going in.
Feel into your head, and be aware of all that mental pressure.
Then blow it all out. Just for a second, let it all go.
Relax your muscles.
Relax them again.
Then tell your inner child: I am here. I am safe. I am enough.
🩷🩷🩷
Freedom from overwhelm really can start with something that simple. Write your worries down. Look at them. Acknowledge how much you’re carrying. Breathe. Relax. Be present with yourself. Blow it all out for a moment.
And a top tip from a former perfectionist: take one item from that list and toss it. Don’t do it. Forget about it. And see how the world keeps turning. 💓
