I used to believe I had to perform my way into belonging. But when I completely blanked out during a coaching call, I was met not with rejection—but with compassion. That moment cracked open a hidden fear I didn’t even realize I was still carrying. And it offered me something unexpected: permission to pause.

Freedom from overwhelm really can start with something that simple. Write your worries down. Look at them. Acknowledge how much you’re carrying. Breathe. Relax. Be present with yourself. Blow it all out for a moment.

And a top tip from a former perfectionist: take one item from that list and toss it. Don’t do it. Forget about it. And see how the world keeps turning.

No one ever told me, “Hey — you’re doing a great job. You’re so awesome.” And kids really benefit from hearing that.

Parents SHOULD be saying these things to their kids. Pouring into them, talking them up.

Not consuming them like a black hole and leaving the child in a constant state of depletion and seeking what they didn’t get.

I think that’s where the black hole actually begins: seeking the love that you never got. And it hurts so badly that you’ll fill it from anywhere, consuming anything in your path, even your own kids.

Whatever your situation looks like, know that anxiety doesn’t have to be a companion you carry with you forever. And it certainly doesn’t have to be your authority figure!

You CAN decide what you want your life to look like. No one has to “let you” anymore. You have the tools to handle life from an empowered place, maybe you just weren’t taught how to use them yet.