Learning to Trust Your Inner Voice: A Path to Authentic Healing
Have you ever felt like someone else’s opinion about you carries more weight than your own? Maybe a therapist, a coach, or even a friend told you something about yourself, and you took it as truth without questioning it. I get it. It’s easy to slip into that mindset, especially when life has thrown you curveballs or left you feeling like you’re not enough. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, reflecting on a friend who struggles with deep negativity and a sense that she’s too “broken” to heal. It got me wondering about how we decide who gets to define us—and how we can start reclaiming that power for ourselves.
When Others’ Opinions Feel Louder Than Yours
Sometimes, life’s challenges (especially trauma) can make us feel like other people know better than we do. If you grew up in an environment where your needs weren’t met or your voice wasn’t heard, it’s natural to start looking to others for answers. A therapist might say, “Here’s your diagnosis,” or a coach might suggest, “This is what you need to do.” And because they’re the “expert,” we often nod along, even if something inside us whispers, That doesn’t feel right.
I’ve seen this play out with a therapist who’s wildly popular. They’ve got this raw, relatable vibe: cussing in sessions, acting a little nervous to put people at ease. Clients love them for it. But here’s the thing: sometimes their advice feels off. They’ll hand out diagnoses or suggestions that I’ve heard people cling to without questioning, because they’re the authority. And when you’re feeling lost or broken, it’s tempting to let someone else take the wheel.
But what if the real path to healing starts with listening to you?
How Trauma Shapes Our Trust
Trauma has a sneaky way of making us doubt ourselves. When we’re kids, we rely on adults to guide us, to make us feel safe and seen. If that doesn’t happen, for example if we’re ignored, criticized, or hurt, it can leave us with a lingering belief that other people know better. That their voices matter more than ours. Over time, we might stop trusting our own instincts, handing over our power to anyone who seems confident or authoritative.
This can show up in therapy or coaching, where we’re vulnerable and looking for guidance. A therapist might mean well, but if their advice doesn’t align with who you are or what you value, it can leave you feeling more disconnected. My friend, for example, feels like her struggles define her. She’s convinced she’s too broken to fix, and I wonder if part of that comes from never being encouraged to trust her own inner compass. What if, instead of leaning on someone else’s diagnosis, she started tuning into what she knows about herself?
Reclaiming Your Inner Authority
The good news is you can rebuild that trust in yourself. It’s not about dismissing professionals; therapy and coaching can be incredibly powerful when done right! It’s about learning to balance their guidance with your own wisdom. Here are a few ways to start:
Pause and check in: When someone gives you advice or a label, take a moment to ask yourself, Does this feel true for me? Your gut often knows before your mind catches up. If something feels off, that’s worth exploring.
Notice your patterns: Trauma can make us default to pleasing others or accepting their version of us. Start noticing when you’re deferring to someone else’s opinion. Ask, Why am I giving their voice more weight than mine?
Start small: Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers right away. Try listening to your inner voice in small decisions, like what you want for dinner or how you want to spend your Saturday. Those little moments build confidence.
Find support that honors you: Whether it’s a therapist, a coach, or a friend, look for people who encourage you to trust yourself. A good guide doesn’t tell you who you are.. they help you discover it.
My Approach to Coaching
In my coaching practice, I believe the most powerful work happens when we build a relationship based on trust: not just in me, but in you. I’m not here to hand you a diagnosis or tell you who you should be. My goal is to create a space where you feel safe to explore your own thoughts, feelings, and values. Together, we can uncover what makes you feel whole, what lights you up, and what steps feel authentic for your journey.
I’ve wondered if I’d be good at this kind of work, especially when it comes to setting boundaries and leaving the job at the door each night. It’s not always easy, but I’m committed to showing up fully for my clients while honoring my own limits. That balance lets me be present and real with you, without pretending to have all the answers.
You Are Your Own Best Guide
If you’re feeling stuck like my friend, or wondering if you’re “too broken” to heal, I want you to know this: you have an inner voice that’s been with you all along. It might be quiet from years of being ignored, but it’s still there, waiting for you to listen. Trauma may have taught you to look outside yourself for answers, but healing begins when you start trusting the one person who knows you best: you.
If you’re ready to start tuning into that voice, I’d love to walk alongside you. Not as an authority over you, but as a partner in uncovering your own strength and wisdom. Let’s find what feels true for you.
Ready to take the next step? Reach out for a one-on-one session, and let’s explore what’s possible when you trust yourself.
